Putting My Heels Down: A Memoir of Having a Dream…and a Day Job

 

“If your father practiced medicine the way you dance, he’d be under a million lawsuits.”

That’s what Miss Lorraine used to tell Kara as a young dancer in between yelling, “Put your heels down!” In dance, criticism is considered a compliment, so as a young dancer with short Achilles tendons, tight hamstrings, and knobby knees she fancied herself a star. Thirty years of leotards and tights later, she had to face some hard truths. Maybe she wasn’t a dancer after all.

After graduating from a top conservatory and embarking on her Martha Graham dreams, Kara reluctantly chose to teach Pilates to pay the bills. After initially failing her certification thanks to a nasty margarita hangover, she became one of the most sought after Pilates instructors in Manhattan. She cracked herself up, with what could only be described as Pilates stand-up, poking fun at high maintenance clients and gym culture. But, after hitting many unexpected speed bumps in her dance career, what started as a nothing day job had become her everything. And it wasn’t funny anymore. Underneath that peppy six-pack Pilates persona was a sad little girl fighting for her dream.

Putting My Heels Down exposes the harsh realities of life as a dancer but more importantly, the conflict so many of us experience between having a day job and having a dream. You won’t need to know about pliés to relate.

Advanced Praise for Putting My Heels Down

“Kara Tatelbaum's story is told with great humor, pathos and aching honesty. She takes us right into the dance studio, on stages while performing, and into Pilates and yoga studios where she has to make a living as a teacher. Her humorous descriptions of the Upper East Side ladies she instructs are hilarious, and she has a great ability to bring you right there at whatever studio or apartment she's teaching at. Underneath it all, she just wants to dance, and we feel her struggle with the losses, rejections, surgeries and recoveries that most dancers experience. The "magic" she experiences as a young dancer seems to have never left her—and bravo to Kara for taking us on this exhilarating journey of finding her own voice.”—Susan Priver, Author, Dancer Interrupted

“Putting My Heels Down is a book for anyone who has ever had to put aside their dreams for the sake of practicality. Tatelbaum writes with humor and strength about the tough choices around creating art, and the ways the arts can fail us at the same time they sustain us.”—Ellen O’Connell Whittet, Author, What You Become in Flight

“Kara’s humor, clear-eyed self-perspective, vulnerability, and cleverness at description and scene bring readers into her life and into cahoots. We can’t help but root for her and turn the page. Coming alongside Kara in my heart, wanting to make her a bowl of soup on the bad days and clank champagne flutes on the great days, I remembered again how much care we owe to our younger selves and to one another, dancers or not.”—Jessica Ribera, Author, The Almost Dancer

“What a spectacular inside look at the life of a professional dancer! Brave, honest, and unafraid, Putting My Heels Down is the story of one woman's quest to pursue a career as a dancer despite the toll the New York dance scene takes on her body, her spirit, and her dream. Through injuries and setbacks Tatelbaum drives herself to live a life of creative meaning and pulls no punches when she realizes she has become someone she never intended to be. You will root for her as she questions whether or not she deserves what she wants most and turn every page to see if she can find the brilliant and knowing part of herself that was there all along.”—Ronit Plank, Author, When She Comes Back

“Putting My Heels Down offers an honest and raw perspective on the many tumultuous pressures of making a life of dance in New York. Even when things (literally) go up in flames, Kara's voice shines through as a beacon of resilience and perseverance.”—Dan Van Note, Podcast Host, Dan Talks 

“I was just thinking that we need more dance memoirs and along comes Kara Tatelbaum's Putting My Heels Down! Reviewed in the New York Times and The New Yorker, Tatelbaum was once at the pinnacle of New York's dance scene and gives a refreshing and honest look at the industry and how difficult it is to make a living in it, surgeries, injuries, and all. Her memoir is inspirational for anyone in the arts, and gives hope to all of us who wish to follow our dreams. One other thing is for sure: you'll never look at Pilates classes the same!”—Susan Blumberg-Kason, Author, Good Chinese Wife

“I love how direct and honest Putting My Heels Down is. It’s funny, but the humor comes from the truth of knowing oneself and being brave enough to share it with others.”—Kay Cummings, Former Chair of Tisch Dance Department at New York University

“Kara Tatelbaum nailed it in her book, Putting My Heels Down: a memoir of having a dream . . . and a day job.  It's a good read and anyone who has ever taken dance classes, performed, taken Pilates, taught Pilates or been to China will have a great time in these pages.  She does an amazing job of allowing us to get deep inside her frustrations and disappointments with spirit, energy, and humor.  Even through the acknowledgements at the end.  Talk about determination.  Kara has it.  The book has it.”—Carol K. WalkerFormer Dean of Dance, Purchase College Conservatory of Dance SUNYFormer Chair of Dance, Hunter College CUNY Dean Emeritus, School of Arts, Purchase College, SUNYFounder, Director, Carol K Walker Global Dance LLC

“Putting My Heels Down is not just a ballerina story. And Tatelbaum is not just a dancer and a pilates instructor, she's a writer too! Her voice is hip and fresh and funny, especially when she tells us what the hell modern dance is and how to behave in a Pilates class wiithout pissing off the instructor. Putting My Heels Down is hilarious and gut-wrenching. I loved it.”—Brett Paesel, Actress/Producer, Best-Selling Author, Mommies Who Drink

“Putting My Heels Down is the universal story of a young woman’s transformation from anger toward love. It gives me great pleasure to endorse Kara’s memoir. Her journey through rejection and fear from the dream of the planet dance world to her transformation as an aware, empowered, and loving woman is relatable to all dreamers. Well-written, entertaining and poignant, when you get to the end you feel the love from her journey.”—Don Miguel Ruiz, International New York Times Bestselling Author, The Four Agreements

 "Kara Tatelbaum is a natural storyteller. Her voice is authentic, funny and warm. Like all great storytellers, she is willing to make herself vulnerable – bringing us into her very human struggle to make it in a world that often strips people of their humanity. Though not a dancer myself, I completely related to her struggles of trying to figure out what to do next when her childhood dreams fail to come through. Kara struggles to “put her heels down,” and you’ll have trouble putting this terrific book down.”—Catherine Burns, Artistic Director, The Moth